bursting banana<3(:

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

11:23 PM

K so let me explain something about me that noone else knows yet;
I mean, noone i know in real life will actually read this (except maybe shane, cause he's bothering me about my url right now)...
SOOOOO its not like they can blackmail me or some sht with what i'm about to say/write

1] i hate crying; i only cry about one thing in life; my father, btch from hell, never like talking to him
2] i only cry when i'm with or talking to jenay/andrew or when i'm in the shower and ready for a mental break down
3] i hate when people cry to me; except maybe jenay/andrew/marcie/jo/fewothersimtoolazytolist; THIS is because; fck idk you that well if you're not listed just now; dont talk to me, i wont talk to you; end of story, k goodbye.

REEDIT: i DO cry when i watch a k/j drama; dont think that counts though...since it's not actually about my own feelings; its about how bad i feel for the characters of a fake, make believe story

i DO make exceptions on that last one; when its like, not really CRYING to me; like, someone "venting" to me ...via msn, oovoo, tokbox, stickam, vent (how ironic), etc. then fck yeah i'll deal with your bs (depending on what it is)

but...
seriously
this is the second night in a row i cried...to myself...in the shower; oh fck i might have lied, it might be the third (btw, i WOULD go back & rewrite it, but i dont use the backspace button, when writing a blog; all those i's that are lowercase? that's cause i'm too lazy. all those spelling mistakes? fck that. im here to vent; no need for backspace)

so...reason this time would have to be my insane jealousy problem? ~~idk whatever.~~ i hate being jealous; it screws with my life. it also makes me freaking depressed as sht. and ...i ~~dont~~ like being deperessed.

i really wish i could write EVERYTHING that i feel on here; it would be so much easier for me...not even jenay knows exactly how i feel about this; i think only Aaron would understand (and he's jenay's boyfriend x____x how fail is that). not that i'm saying i told aaron and not jenay; i told jenay...and didnt tell aaron; its just...she doesnt understand how it feels cause...although she's a jealous person too, aaron doesnt talk to other girls or do anything with them or even HANG OUT with anyone except her and his baseball friends...and me and andrew/shane/taryn.

this topic irritates me. it makes me want to kill myself and ... i wish icould;
i wish i didnt live in this house; i wish i didnt have to go to school; i wish i could quit soccer; i wish i could just ...idk go to college already; i wish i could live in japan; i wish i could do whatever i wanted; i wish boys could never hurt me; i wish other GIRLS could never hurt me...

too bad life isn't like that...too bad it will never be...too bad i'm stuck with the same parents and family...too bad that at least ONE of my best friends is moving schools next year...too bad i get jealous too easily...too bad i cant make my friends happy...too bad i can't make SHANE happy...

too bad for sad, emo little me.
fck my messed up, deperessed life.

637; forever&always

Gracieee(:
burstt or banana(na) 06.13.94.
Hawaii(:

Interests: Soccer;; Running;; Photography;; Graphic Design;; EATING!!!! :D;;; sleeping(: ...etc. _____ <~ fill in the blank

What i dislike: SPAMMERS;; fakes;; the colors pink & purple;; pinepples;; whipped cream;; COCONUTS D:<

New Years Resolution : STOP SWEARING x___x & get some better grades

myspace
facebook

MR im-just-resting-my-eyes :]
Prestige - Aau
Vee - Pedophobia
Sukie - Hotcakeee
Eugie - Puri/EugieStyle
Tina - Weeny
Marion - MARi
Dani - badlove

designer joy.deprived
fonts&brushes x x x
images x
image hosting x
software
Adobe Photoshop CS3, Macromedia Dreamweaver 8.0

- please keep the credits AS THEY ARE :] thankyou.